This New Year's morning was grey and miserable. A contrast to last year, when it was foggy but the sun tried to shine through the fog. Nothing like it this year, the sun was not even trying..
It seems to reflect the general mood of people since the economic downturn. 2012 predicted to be again a difficult year financially for most. Many friends in the same boat, difficult times, no outlook to when the sun will again shine..
This New Year is unusual for me, in the sense that I have stood still and reflected in the moment. I am someone who normally does not make resolutions. I always try to be the best person I can and achieve and adjust goals throughout the year, not just because it happens to be a year change on the calendar.
Then I read something that made me stop and think. It was a little piece about taking responsibility for your dreams (as in, just go and do it or you never will). What struck me about that is that to me, taking responsibility, often means the actual opposite of dreams. When you are responsible for something, be it yourself, a partner or dependent children or pets, you owe it to those you take responsibility for to see this through. This means providing, this means being there, this means putting them before chasing your dreams.
I stopped and looked at New Years' past.. the expectations I had each and every year and how some of them never happened.. not through any of my own fault. Sometimes, you can make all the resolutions you like, and dream all the dreams you want, but because you are responsible you set them aside and do what you need to instead.
Many of us hoped 2010 would be a great year, then 2011, surely it would get better? All hope is on 2012 now and what will we be thinking in january 2013? Personally both years have awful for me and like the economy, not a lot of expected sunshine in sight.
I know in 2012 honouring my responsibilites will again override my dreams and 'me' time. So I will tell you in advance I will need to keep my head down and very little sewing will be done if any at all. I want to end on a positive note, as I seem to be in danger of lowering the mood here! In 2012, I will know I can attack the year with my head held high. Knowing I am doing the right thing by being there for those I love and have a responsibility to. I have been waiting for my dreams for a very long time, and I am sure I can wait a little longer. One day they WILL come true!
